What palm trees and healthy leaders teach us about giving what others truly need
We’ve all been there: someone’s struggling, stuck, or veering off course, and we feel the urge to step in and offer advice. Sometimes it helps. But often, even well-meaning advice can fall flat—or worse, deepen disconnection. Why? Because what most people need isn’t more instruction. They need something deeper: sincere, nurturing counsel.
In many cultures—including Islamic tradition—there’s a concept known as naṣīḥa, which emphasizes care, sincerity, and a desire to help others grow. While rooted in a specific faith heritage, this term continues to resonate with millions around the world. We use it not to promote religion, but because it beautifully captures a universal truth: real transformation begins with care, not control.
As the wisdom of Solomon puts it, “the words of the wise are like deep waters; the one with insight draws them out”—counsel that nourishes rather than instructs from a distance. Similar ideas show up in other traditions too: mentorship, empathy, relational wisdom. At its heart, naṣīḥa is not about fixing someone—it’s about nurturing what’s already growing inside them.
At Hikma Leadership, we’ve found that this form of wise counsel is one of the most powerful—and misunderstood—tools in a leader’s toolbox. It’s also deeply relational. That’s why we use a metaphor rooted in nature to explain how true counsel works: the growth of a palm tree.
True Counsel Is Like Tending a Tree
Imagine someone’s leadership journey as a growing palm tree. If we want to help them flourish, our counsel must nurture the environment around them. Healthy trees don’t grow by being pushed harder. They grow when the conditions for growth are present. The same is true for people.
We identify four key forms of nurturing counsel—relational nutrients that help others grow—each corresponding to part of what keeps a tree alive:
1. Water: Presence and Compassion
Water represents emotional availability. When someone is struggling, they often don’t need answers—they need to know they’re not alone. Being present and offering warmth is counsel in its most comforting form. It helps people stay rooted when life feels dry.
2. Fertilizer: Encouragement and Celebration
Fertilizer adds nutrients to the soil. When we affirm someone’s growth or celebrate their efforts, we fertilize their confidence. This kind of counsel helps people grow strong and believe in their potential.
3. Air: Clarity and Truth
Air provides space and oxygen. In relationships, this looks like offering perspective or speaking truth with kindness. Honest counsel names what’s real without crushing the spirit. It helps people see clearly and breathe deeply.
4. Sunlight: Motivation and Vision
Sunlight energizes growth. Sometimes good counsel is a spark—words that motivate, challenge, or cast a hopeful vision. This kind of counsel doesn’t demand change—it awakens desire to grow toward the light.
Why This Matters for Leaders
Most leaders have been trained to give advice, but not to offer this kind of wise, relational counsel. Advice speaks from the head; nurturing counsel speaks from the heart—with wisdom. It’s about meeting people where they are and offering what will help them grow, not just what will solve the problem.
In our work with cross-cultural leaders, we’ve seen how this shift—from advice to nurturing presence—builds trust, deepens connection, and produces transformation. The more leaders learn to give and receive these four nutrients, the more they flourish—and help others do the same.
Ready to Transform Your Leadership?
If you’re curious about how to grow in offering wise counsel, our Leadership Kickstart is the perfect starting point. This high-impact training is designed to help you reflect on your leadership patterns and cultivate the kind of presence that nurtures others.
Imagine a leadership style where you not only thrive but empower those around you to flourish. Start by learning how to water, nourish, clarify, and energize the people around you. This is the essence of wise counsel.
Join us today and become the kind of leader the world needs most—one who inspires growth, fosters connection, and creates lasting impact.
Want to lead in a way that helps others flourish?
Start by learning how to water, nourish, clarify, and energize the people around you. That’s the essence of wise counsel. And that’s the kind of leadership the world needs most.
